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The farmers have been meeting up in The Baaamy Inn for years, a band of buddies bound together by an unbreakable bond, however, last Friday they were in a sombre mood having just learned that Edgar from the poultry farm had recently passed away; “it’s just a matter of time before we begin falling off the perch”, said Ted, ”but I’m sure we’ll meet again in the afterlife, up there in the Paradise Inn”.
Colin was keen to lighten the mood, “when James Bond dies he’ll go to 00-heaven”, he said which was all Suzie from the next table needed to get her singing; “you only live twice….” – “OY”, shouted Landlord Len, “I hope not, perish the thought of future generations having to put up with that racket!” – he was only kidding, I think!
“That reminds me”, said Babs, “Betty from Buttercup Lane had a feeling her hubby was seeing a bit on the side, he often told her he was going to the pub but when he got home he smelt of perfume not beer, so she hired Sly the private eye to spy on him, well, Sly followed him down the road, around the corner and up Heather Hill where he knocked on the front door of number nine – it was Sly’s front door and Sly’s wife that opened it!
“I was talking to Crafty Ken,” said Arthur, “the guy that makes things and sells them at the market, it seems he’s got himself a lady friend that works at the craft shop, he liked the look of her when he was paying for some paper at the till so he went in again the next day for some ribbon and there was a sparkle in her eye, the following day he found her topping up the glue shelf, he says they’ve formed a bond and now they are inseparable!”
As usual, the ladies of the knitting circle were clicking away, Polly was telling them about their nest egg, “my husband suggested we invest it in a savings bond, but that’s of no interest to me, I said we should spend it on holidays because the only bond I’m interested in is Bondi Beach, and he said he was always worried about going to Australia because it’s upside down, so I said you’ll be alright if you put some glue on your shoes but he wasn’t amused – oh – haha, that rhymes!”
…and Colin was off – “I mixed up my gluesick and my wife’s lipstick, the model I was making fell apart and she hasn’t spoken to me since – I’m reading a book about glue. I can’t put it down – my guitar’s sticky, it’s agloustic – Eskimos use iglue – at bedtime James Bond goes undercover – his doorbell goes ‘ding, ding dong’ ……”; his puns were still going strong as they all left the Inn and went wandering down the lane!
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Thanks to GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentences Stories where this week’s given word is Bond.
A lot of bonds indeed. This post cracked me up, Keith. Good one 😂😃
Bonds that know no bounds! Thanks, Shweta.
Indeed. You’re most welcome 🤗
glad he got a glue!
So’s he! Cheers, Beth!
It sounds like Sly uncovered more than he was hoping to find out. I like how Crafty Ken became inseparable from his girlfriend when she was stocking a shelf with glue.
Thank you so much, Frank!
You had me glued to this punny post today, dear Keith. I’m not sure Sly is the private eye he’s cracked up to be! 👁️
Thank goodness it wasn’t superglue! Thanks, Nancy!
A puntastic story Keith you are the master of puns….”she hired Sly the private eye to spy on him, well, Sly…. I guess Sly got quite the eye-full.
Thanks so much, Suzette, it certainly wasn’t the eye-full he expected!
Hahaha! So good Keith.
Thanks, Sadje, I’m pleased you liked it!
Your regulars at the pub are becoming our familiar friends
LOLOLOL ths is great Keith!
Your punny bunch are always amusing.
always the place to end the week with a smile (and/or lol)
Bond, James Bond… again?! 😎
(giggling, also again)