This week’s word is Claw!

Keith's Ramblings

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A stranger walked into The Baaamy Inn the other evening and the farmers invited him to join them; they asked his name, ‘I Claudius”,  he proclaimed, “actually it’s Claude, I teach English at The Baaamy Acaaadamy so be careful with your grammar, I’m a stickler for linguistic precision!”

“My Grandma spoke perfect English”, said Arthur, “very different to me” – “from me” – “her sentences were always comprised of unusual – “just comprised, not comprised of” – “words and phrases, she was like articulate and clever like” – “wrong use of like, it’s a verb meaning to enjoy, or an adjective meaning similar to, enough of that teen-talk!” ; keen to lighten the conversation Babs butted in, “what’s the difference between a cat and a comma? – a cat has claws at the end of its paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause”.

Having overheard the conversation, Suzie at the next table produced a piece of paper from her bag and asked Claude if would explain a clause in the letter she’d received from the water company, she folded it into a paper aeroplane and launched it in his direction whereupon it landed point first in his beer; “it’s quite simple my dear”, he said “it’s warning that the tap water may taste of chlorine, but it’s nothing to be worried about”, – “I’d stick to drinking your Savvy Blonk plonk if I was, sorry, were you”, said Bill!

Soon, it’ll be time for The Baaamy Inn’s karaoke night, and they were all keen to know what Ted would be singing: “well, I thought I’d do that song by Mario Lanza, because you’re mine the brightest star I see looks down, my love …” – “if Cat Stevens had sung it, would have gone been be claws you’re mine!” quipped Colin, and that was all it needed to set him off – “what did the cat use to sharpen its claws? me, ow – who gives presents to lobsters? Santa claws – why did the crab hate its shell? because it was claws-strophobic…..”  

Meanwhile the ladies of the knitting circle were discussing their men, Phoebe had them in stitches telling them how her nitwit hubby had been needling her of late; “at least you’ve got men” said a sad little voice; “you’re too plain, Pearl” said Polly, “you need to change your image, add some slap and bright red lippy, change your nails into pointed talons, wear a tarty dress and practice pouting, you’ll have men dying to get their claws into you in no time!” –  “Oy”, yelled Landlord Len, “I don’t allow tarts in my pub”. 

The Baaarmy Inn will be closed next week, Len is getting it redecorated and smartened up, so the farmers will be going to The Mooo Inn for their weekly gathering, the knitters to The Woolpack, Suzie and the other drinkers, somewhere else; as for me, we’ll see.

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…but not next Thursday as I will be otherwise engaged for the day! The Baaamy Inn will be open for business again the following week on October the 17th – provided the paint’s dry! See you then.

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Claw. 

21 thoughts on “This week’s word is Claw!”

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Oct 5, 2024 / 12:48

      Thank you so much. I’m only missing for a day, Sadje! My next proper vacation is still several weeks away!

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      • Sadje's avatar Sadje Oct 5, 2024 / 14:15

        Oh I see.

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  6. hilarymb's avatar hilarymb Oct 4, 2024 / 08:56

    Hi Keith – enjoy the time away … I couldn’t write about grammar … I’m hopeless at it – what appears comes from somewhere! But why or how I’ve no idea … happy days … cheers Hilary

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Oct 5, 2024 / 12:51

      I rely heavily on my Grammarly app! English was one of my worst subjects at school. I only have one day away – I’m going to Glyndebourne for a touch of opera!

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  7. clark's avatar clark Oct 4, 2024 / 11:46

    here’s something weird*

    reading your Six (actually most Sixeseses) very often triggers past assumptions, recollections and false memories.

    What came to mind with this one was how, as kids we used to save the spare parts from a model car kit (there was always spare parts, maybe the glue, maybe not) and put them in a box.

    Anyway, every few months we’d take the box of leftover parts and try to make a car. It was almost always as satisfying an exercise as following instructions in a fresh, celophane-wrapped kit.

    like that… the fun of odd words and ideas, perspectives and twists

    very enjoyable Six

    have a fun/uneventful/easy-peasy time away from the keyboard.

    *I know, knock everyone over with a feather

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Oct 5, 2024 / 12:55

      Delighted to have amused you kind sir!

      Model car kits, now you are taking me back! My present day equivilent is a collection of spare parts from self assembly furniture!

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  8. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall Oct 4, 2024 / 14:53

    What fun… again, especially about cats, commas and claws!
    Enjoy your holiday, Keith.

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  9. Liz H-H's avatar Liz H-H Oct 4, 2024 / 16:56

    Poor Landlord Len. Those tarts keep popping in, don’t they? 😄😄

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