250 words!

Keith's Ramblings

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She’s been gone ages. She said she needed a tinkle. I know ladies take longer than us gents, fiddling with their hair and touching up their warpaint etcetera, but even she doesn’t normally take this long.

Perhaps she’s left me, she keeps threatening to. You should have heard her yesterday, she said I was a lazy so ‘n so. I do my fair share of household chores. I made my own cup of tea (if I’d waited any longer for her to make me for it, I’d have died of thirst), I helped her with her shopping list (I needed a few cans of beer and a some razor blades),  I spent three hours in my mancave rather than the required two (she says she needs a bit of peace and quiet once a day) and I even changed the battery in my game controller. 

It’s been… let’s see… fourteen minutes! That’s longer than I spend in the bathroom in the morning. I can use the loo, have a shower, shave, splash on some ‘oh de toilet’ (as they say in France),  comb my hair (what’s left of it) and even put the seat down (I don’t dare leave it up) – all in ten minutes! I’m going to grab myself a beer from the bar.

Uh-oh, here she comes.

******!

“Yes, I got myself a drink, dear”.

******!

“Well, I didn’t know what you wanted, sweetheart”.

****** !

I know what you usually have, but you might have wanted something different today, my love”.

****** !

HELP!

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XrTngpyiR

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pbar

© Ayr/Gray

Thanks to Jenne Gray and C.E.Ayr for hosting The Unicorn Challenge

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30 thoughts on “250 words!”

  1. V. Sparrow's avatar V. Sparrow Mar 31, 2024 / 13:23

    Oh my, this is scary (said as she’s laughing!). But seriously, I’ve made a commitment to myself that I’m going to hone my humor during this “ageing gig”. I’m not going down quietly! Take care, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. Doug Jacquier's avatar Editor, Witcraft Mar 31, 2024 / 13:41

    A man walks into a bar and commits marital suicide, as he has been for a very long time it would appear. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Dale's avatar Dale Mar 31, 2024 / 15:06

    This is representative of way too many men, Keith! Why she comes back is beyond me… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Mar 31, 2024 / 15:51

    Wonderful! You wrote a fabulous story from the photo prompt! Wow!
    I suspect that his perception of his magnanimous “helping” around the house may not be as generous as he believes.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli Mar 31, 2024 / 21:03

    Perfectly organized rationalizations from the old duffer. I love the story you built around the image. Gave me a few chuckles and has a whole lot of resemblance to duffers I’ve run across.

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. clark's avatar clark Mar 31, 2024 / 23:00

    Engaging, quirky characters, droll exchanges.

    What more can we ask?

    fun

    Like

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  10. jenne49's avatar jenne49 Apr 1, 2024 / 12:10

    I’m laughing here, Keith.
    Two excellent stereotypes, gently funny and speaking volumes on human relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Apr 1, 2024 / 16:10

      Thanks, Jenne, I’m sure they are content despite what appears on the surface!

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  11. ceayr's avatar ceayr Apr 2, 2024 / 08:43

    Seems to me the poor chap’s doing his best and she just doesn’t appreciate a good man!

    Your usual chucklefest, Keith!

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  13. Belladonna's avatar Belladonna Apr 3, 2024 / 16:12

    She keeps threatening to leave! LOLOL What a great story!

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