100 words…

Keith's Ramblings

…for Friday Fictioneers.

Seeing the steps in Rochelle’s picture took me back to piece I wrote, partly in French, many years ago. The following is a piece along similar lines, but far shorter and in English!

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I heard a voice, a soft voice.

Help me it said.

From a doorway, a girl appeared.

What do you want? I asked.

Come and you’ll see, she said.

I said, I don’t want to.

She said, you must.

She ran down the steps,

then turned and looked up at me.

Tears ran down her cheeks.

Hurry, please, she said.

I can’t keep up, I said.

Please she begged.

I’m losing you, I said.

Then she disappeared.

Where are you? I called.

Never mind she cried.

What did you want? I asked.

It’s too late she sobbed.

‘

I’ll never know.

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baretz-2023

                                                  PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

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                             Tickle Froggie under her chin to see what others have written.

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40 thoughts on “100 words…”

  2. Neil MacDonald's avatar neilmacdon Nov 22, 2023 / 13:30

    A real change of style. That’s darker and different than your usual offerings.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. rochellewisoff's avatar rochellewisoff Nov 22, 2023 / 13:36

    Dear Keith,

    Touching and mysterious. Thank you for posting in English…I don’t speak French. 😉 BTW a couple of lines are missing from the written that are in the recording.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Nov 22, 2023 / 16:24

      Thanks, Rochelle. My French is a bit a bit dodgy!

      Thank you for pointing out my missing bit! Duly corrected!

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      Reply
  4. Sandra's avatar Sandra Nov 22, 2023 / 14:11

    That was both intriguing and emotive. Well done, Keith. (See you in your spam box probably).

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli Nov 23, 2023 / 22:22

    Potent dialogue, Keith. I imagine her as a ghost, trying to find help for her family…

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. Margaret's avatar Margaret Nov 25, 2023 / 03:37

    Mysterious and moody. She could be anyone or anything, I guess. Makes me think of missed opportunities – but that’s just one possibility.

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶's avatar The Sicilian Storyteller Nov 25, 2023 / 22:32

    This is a side of you I don’t see very often; you should show it off more, Keith. It looks quite good on you.
    A brilliant write, truly powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

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  18. Laurie Bell's avatar Laurie Bell Nov 26, 2023 / 19:23

    Wow. This hooked me instantly. That poor girl. Well done.

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  19. Nobbinmaug's avatar Nobbinmaug Nov 27, 2023 / 02:35

    Is there anything more alluring than a mystery woman? Maybe a mysterious French woman.

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