I spy!

Keith's Ramblings



for The Unicorn Challenge which is hosted by Jenne gray and C.E.Ayr..

Four years ago, I wrote a 100-word story for Friday Fictioneers about being a PI. I thought I’d expand it. It’s now 230 words!

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Let me read it to you!

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Wouldn’t it be fun to be a private eye? 

I’d be sitting here, outside the cafe, pretending to read a newspaper which has two holes cut in it for peeping through!

What fun it would be to disguise myself by wearing a false beard and moustache. I could even pop a wig on my head! 

I would get myself one of those big magnifying glasses that spies have, though I’m not entirely sure what they’re for. 

I could pretend to be looking at a shop window when I’d actually be watching the reflection of someone on the other side of the street. 

I’d listen in to people’s phone conversations, and I could make phone calls with a handkerchief over the mouthpiece to muffle my voice, and even put on a foreign accent!

I could have a little camera in my collar and a recording device under my hat.

Fancy hiding in wardrobes and under a bed! What fun it would be to see what people were getting up to! 

Imagine being disguised as a cleaner and searching through filing cabinets in closed offices. I’d take pictures of secret documents and take down numbers and addresses.

I could pretend to be a chauffeur or a butler. I might even dress as a woman!

Oh, sorry waiter, I didn’t notice you standing there. I’ll have a coffee with two sugars, shaken not stirred.

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© Ayr/Gray

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34 thoughts on “I spy!”

  1. Sadje's avatar Sadje Nov 4, 2023 / 10:32

    At least he saw the waiter! He still might have a future in spying

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  3. Sandra's avatar Sandra Nov 4, 2023 / 10:54

    I think he may be in need of a little something extra in his life. But I doubt it would be as exciting as what’s going on in his head.

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  5. Nicole Horlings's avatar Nicole Horlings Nov 4, 2023 / 14:21

    Shaken coffee… that may or may not catch on as a trend 😜
    I enjoyed the snap back to reality. Great story!

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  6. Doug Jacquier's avatar Doug Jacquier Nov 4, 2023 / 15:45

    Hilarious, Keith. I presume the waiter was in disguise as well and the last line was the code phrase. 🙂

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  8. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Nov 4, 2023 / 19:10

    Wonderful! Thank you for the smiles Keith. You penned in every icon of the private investigation field. Love the coffee shaken and not stirred…I’ll have to give that a try…LOL

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Nov 5, 2023 / 14:00

      I’m delighted to have amused you, Suzette! By the way, did you know that a Martini should be stirred, not shaken? You’d have thought James would be Bound to know that!

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  10. Margaret's avatar Margaret Nov 5, 2023 / 02:38

    Walter Mitty rides again! There’s something about cafes such as this that enables one to pretend they’re someone else, living another (more exciting?) life. I do it myself, but not with quite as much imagination as your MC. Very good.

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  14. jenne49's avatar jenne49 Nov 5, 2023 / 12:01

    ‘Coffee… shaken, not stirred’ – I love this!
    Fun story, Keith.
    I’m still smiling.
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