A short story …

Keith's Ramblings

for Friday Fictioneers.

 

bayangan-pendekar

 

.

My room is dark save the glow of a flickering candle. From my window, I see nothing but pitch black, not a light in sight.

Blinding dazzling shards of silver assault my eyes, a thunderous crash shakes my very soul.

Looking towards the ocean I see nothing until once again the heavens illuminate the scene. The sea glistens for a second then once again is gone.

Without warning a torrent of rain crashes from the sky, roaring, hissing. Droplets sparkle in the lightning’s glare. 

The smell, that sound, the power, my trepidation lasts for but for a short while, then is gone

 

b

 

..

storm-approaching-naamaThanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Na’ama Yehuda for the picture.

In my tale there’s not a light in sight, but I resisted the tempation to photoshop all those windows into darkness as I thought that would be disrespectful to Na’ama’s snap!

Click Froggie to join in the fun!

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72 thoughts on “A short story …”

  1. Sadje Feb 2, 2022 / 15:36

    You wrote this so well that all I can see are dark windows and lightning flashing from the sky.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      • Mason Bushell Feb 3, 2022 / 16:47

        You’re welcome.

        I missed a whole month. I’ve been woodworking about 8 hours a day and then it’s too ate to do any writing unfortunately.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mason Bushell Feb 4, 2022 / 11:27

        It was, I’ve really enjoyed connecting more with my dad and a change of pace is always a good thing for a while.

        Like

    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 3, 2022 / 15:42

      I’m glad that came across Neil. Everything smells different after a droop of rain.

      Like

      Reply
  5. Anita Feb 2, 2022 / 18:16

    Storm description is nice, Keith.
    The lightning stands out with its light amidst the darkness around…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Dale Feb 2, 2022 / 19:05

    I absolutely love wild storms like this! You described it so well. Wonderful song addition. Thanks for that!

    Like

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 3, 2022 / 15:55

      Me too Dale. I live high up in a loft and love nothing more than watching and listening. Pleased you liked the song, it’s a favourite of mine

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Dale Feb 3, 2022 / 16:42

        Oh, how lovely!
        The song has been added to my feed. Thank you again!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Michael Feb 2, 2022 / 21:37

    In this story I saw a sailor reliving a devastating storm he once experienced.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. msjadeli Feb 2, 2022 / 22:26

    Impeccable narration and sound effects. There is that “electric energy” that amasses just before a thunderstorm lets loose. Very enjoyable read, Keith.

    Like

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 3, 2022 / 16:09

      That’s very nice of you Lisa, thank you. I know what you mean about an approaching storm, there’s electricity in the air.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. Bill Feb 3, 2022 / 09:20

    Well done, Keith. It certainly was a dark and stormy night. “Trepidation” indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  14. rochellewisoff Feb 3, 2022 / 13:23

    Dear Keith,

    You really captured the atmosphere. Well narrated. Love the sound effects.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. Russell Gayer Feb 3, 2022 / 16:35

    I enjoy watching storms as well. Today we’re having snow. It doesn’t happen that often where we live, but they’re projecting a foot. It’s beautiful coming down, but I’ll be glad when it melts and is gone.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 3, 2022 / 16:48

      Storms are so exhilarating. We haven’t seen snow for years and I really miss it – in small doses of course! Cheers, Russell.

      Like

      Reply
  18. Brenda's Thoughts Feb 3, 2022 / 17:44

    There’s something frightening yet thrilling about a bad storm. I really enjoyed the poetic feel of this one, Keith!

    Like

    Reply
  19. James McEwan Feb 4, 2022 / 10:58

    I trust you got your power back after the storm. Using candles strains your eyes, besides the laptop needs charging.

    Like

    Reply
  20. ahtdoucette Feb 4, 2022 / 13:12

    Such an evocative scene. I love storms, as long as I get to be inside for most of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 4, 2022 / 13:19

      I like standing on my sheltered balcony, that’s kind of half inside half out!

      Like

      Reply
  21. GHLearner Feb 4, 2022 / 13:29

    When the tension is washed off, the trepidation goes, too. Perfectly described. I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  26. Margaret Feb 4, 2022 / 22:59

    The drama of the storm over the ocean is captured well here, Keith. I like how the narrator’s response shifts away from trepidation, leaving him revelling in the storm’s power.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  27. Patricia Clair Feb 4, 2022 / 23:22

    So descriptive, I felt like I was truly in the middle of one of those coastal storms! Amazing job.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  29. CGraith Feb 5, 2022 / 12:02

    Isn’t that how it is in during a storm? The sound of rain soothing, calm but then that lightening and thunder just shakes a person to their core. This really reads like a poem! Thanks for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 5, 2022 / 17:47

      A bit of everything, that’s what makes a good storm so exciting.Thanks for dropping by.

      Like

      Reply
  30. granonine Feb 5, 2022 / 19:36

    Well, Keith, you’ve certainly stepped away from your recent light-hearted stories with this one! Growing up on the Minnesota prairie, I often heard farmer’s saying, “There’s a storm comin’ ” but I often wondered how they knew, because it would seem like a normal summer day. But they were right, and the storms would be just as terrifying as the one you’ve described.

    Like

    Reply
  31. jillyfunnell Feb 6, 2022 / 17:48

    Lovely description of a storm – nature’s way of showing us her dramatic side at its very best. And I loved the track, something resonant in there, with the lovely smooth voice, of those steady-beat records that made me a music addict.

    Like

    Reply
  32. Laurie Bell Feb 7, 2022 / 05:33

    Oh such storms are magnificent and very scary. Beautifully described

    Like

    Reply
  33. parikhit Feb 7, 2022 / 11:42

    The description is so fantastically vivid and real as though I were able to experience it myself. And, I ought to say that I love the use of ‘save’ for except! Not many do that anymore.

    Like

    Reply
  34. Nobbinmaug Feb 9, 2022 / 21:42

    I imagine this is how Poe might venture to describe a storm. Brilliant description, scene setting.

    Like

    Reply
  35. chattingaboutgod Mar 3, 2022 / 15:32

    Keith,
    storms is such a good metaphor, either in the physical and Spiritual….thanks for sharing
    Dave

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  36. Pingback: A short story … – Whitt’s Word Scribbles

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