A hundred words

for Friday Fictioneers

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20071017-beer_wineI was walking down the road with Bible-basher Bob.

I’m thirsty I said, I need some water.

Drink no longer water, but use wine for thy stomach’s sake. Timothy 5:23. 

Okay wine then, or maybe a beer.

Wine is a mocker, beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is unwise. Proverbs 20:1

Now I am confused. What should I do?

Give beer to those perishing, wine to those in anguish. Proverbs 31:6.  

Make your mind up! I’ll play safe. Fruit juice … or perhaps coke.

A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. James 1:8.

I gave up!

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anne-higaThanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Anne Higa for the photo.

Click on Froggies to join in the fun!

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65 thoughts on “A hundred words

  1. Tannille Apr 14, 2021 / 14:02

    Too funny. Hard to know what to do. Have a drink and think about it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sandee Apr 14, 2021 / 14:14

    I say have a couple of beers and ponder this dilemma. Well done.

    Have a fabulous day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. AshleyDannie Apr 14, 2021 / 14:17

    CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT! Some of those verses Bob is using is out of context! Ah! lol Sorry, that is a pet peeve of mine.

    Well written!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 14, 2021 / 16:59

      Exactly. You know that and I know that – but not Bob! Thanks for dropping by, and sorry for raising your hackles!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Christine Goodnough Apr 14, 2021 / 15:47

    Agree with Ashley. No matter what the book, especially THE BOOK, you can get any meaning from lifting out a line or two here or there.
    In fact, your tale reminds me of a want ad I read some fifty years back. An ad in a local paper was offering to pay $20 to anyone who could quote verses from the Bible showing that wine, women, and song are good for a fellow. I wonder if they got any satisfactory responses? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly Apr 14, 2021 / 15:52

    Hope you’ve managed a little walk and a stop at the pub this week Keith, now that you’re allowed again. Probably best not to look in too much detail at the bible for the rights and wrongs, especially with Bob around!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 14, 2021 / 17:04

      I did, it was so nice to have a pint or three of ale again – I trust you did too! Bob’s got a quote for every occasion!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. rochellewisoff Apr 14, 2021 / 15:58

    Dear Keith,

    Cherry picking is always dangerous. Bob sounds like an idiot. 😉 Still made me laugh.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 15, 2021 / 13:42

      I imagined him to be deliberately using quotes in context or not just for a laugh, I was surprised some took it seriousyl! I’m pleased he gained a giggle ot two though! Thanks Rochelle.

      Like

  7. Mason Bushell Apr 14, 2021 / 16:36

    Haha! I love this. Learning the Bible in religious education would be much more fun this way! Good work, Keith!

    Like

  8. ceayr Apr 14, 2021 / 17:33

    Just have a wee dram, Keith, and ponder the evil ways of man.
    It won’t solve anything, but you’ll feel better!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. jenne49 Apr 14, 2021 / 20:06

    I’d stick with ‘…and wine to cheer man’s heart’ which is somewhere in the psalms!
    Although that brings us to the vexed question of ‘women’ and I think you’ve enough problems here as it is!
    What a fun story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 15, 2021 / 14:32

      Hang on a moment while I consult my dictionary…..ei….ege…..

      Right, I’m back and you are absolutely right Larry!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. GHLearner Apr 15, 2021 / 12:31

    How about a good cocktail? I bet that’s nowhere to be found in the bible.

    Like

  11. Dale Apr 15, 2021 / 13:37

    Ya gotta hand it to the bible thumpers. They can find a verse to suit their purpose in all sorts of areas.

    I was gonna say go for a G&T since I’m fairly certain that doesn’t appear anywhere – but Gabi beat me to it!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ahtdoucette Apr 15, 2021 / 14:13

    LOL. My favorite of these jokes is the one where someone is looking in the Bible for advice about how to handle difficult life problems and they open to “Judas went and hanged himself” and then “Go and do likewise.” I don’t drink alcohol but you are making me want to drink, Keith. Like maybe a really stiff hot cocoa with marshmallows. While thinking existential thoughts. Might need extra marshmallows. Cheers!

    Like

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 15, 2021 / 14:35

      That’s one bit of advice I wouldn’t suggest anyone follows! Hope you enjoyed your cocoa and mallows, you’ve got me wanting some now (with a splash of brandy, sorry!)

      Like

  13. Inside the Mind of Isadora Apr 15, 2021 / 20:53

    YUP … there’s been some I’ve had the non-pleasure of experiencing with thumper quotes.
    Grin and order another pint. LOL
    Be Safe … 😷 Isadora 😎

    Liked by 2 people

  14. plaridel Apr 16, 2021 / 01:08

    it reminds me that even the devil will quote the bible to suit his own purposes. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Unishta Apr 16, 2021 / 13:23

    Its always good to bolster up your arguments with quotes from the Good Book even if they are taken out of context.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. granonine Apr 17, 2021 / 16:25

    And that is a perfect example of the confusion that results when scripture is pulled out of its context and used randomly to support an insupportable opinion 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. subroto Apr 18, 2021 / 15:22

    I see this as a spirit-ual problem. Nothing beats a good whine 🙂

    Like

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