“Who’s there?”
“Disguise”
“Disguise who?”
“Disguise in love with you!”
They did it every night when John got home.
“Why the funny voice?” Lea giggled.
“Knock-knock”
“John, you’re scaring me”
She opened the door, just a little. A man in a hoodie barged his way in and thumped the lightswitch plunging the flat into darkness.
“Get out” yelled Lea.
He lowered his hood and shone a torch from beneath his chin.
“I said I’d find you Lea”
What the hell do you want Mike?”
“Stupid question Lea. I’m collecting what’s mine”
Nothing.
“Knock-knock”, louder.
“Lea, knock-knock sweetheart!”
Silence.
John unlocked the door.
Lea was nowhere to be seen.
.
.
Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo is by J Hardy Carroll
Post 1769
Novel story-telling. The juxtaposition of the knock knock joke with the horror story really works.
I hoped it might – it’s nothing like my normal style! Thanks so much.
Very clever how you wove the horror into ‘innocent’ knock knock jokes. Chillingly done, Keith.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Bit of this, bit of that! Thanks so much, Susan
Excellent and novel little chiller, Keith. You did it very well. I wonder whether John is the sort of guy who will go looking for Lea to rescue her.
I’m certain he will! Thanks, Penny.
That’s a cracker of an idea, and structured in a novel, scary but almost amusing way. You excelled yourself this week.
Thanks so much, Sandra, that’s so kind of you. – to be honest, I spent longer fiddling and formatting than I did writing it!
A fantastic thriller. I enjoyed the way your structured it!
I hesitated before pressing the publish button as I was unsure if it worked! Thanks so much Brenda.
It certainly did work, Keith!
Must agree with everyone, Keith. Fantabulous idea of mixing innocent fun with horror.
Poor Lea! Go get her, John!
That’s really nice of you Dale. Go John!
Will never see knock-knock jokes the same again…chilling!
knock-knock…! Cheers Gisselle
Terrifying in its simplicity Keith, very well done, and a refreshing change of tone.
A change is as good as a rest I’m told! Thanks Iain.
Wow. So very scary, especially these days.
It happens, sadly. Cheers Mimi
Yikes! How scary .. and alas how true a terror for many who live with domestic violence, stalking, and abusers.
Not nice at all. Thanks Na’ama
Chilling! Barging in and kidnapping a human being.
Thanks so much Abhijit
Hi Keith – not nice at all … glad it’s a sunny day! I imagine it happens … well told – cheers Hilary
I’m sure it does, but hopefully never in my apartment block!
I love the way you wrote this. It made it all the more scary!
I’m pleased it worked! Thanks Draliman
Knock knock
Who’s there?
UX
UX who?
You excelled yourself this week, Keith
Nice one CE! Thanks so much.
Knock Knock. Who’s there? S’only me saying, Unusual story, well told, Keith.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you for knocking on my door once again Rochelle!
Not a knock-knock joke at all… pretty scary little story you have here!
Not the sort we enjoy anyway! Delighted to have scared you Jelli
This is creepy on so many levels. That Mike bloke must have watched them for some time. I echo what others said, excellent story telling.
I saw Mike as Lea’s ex who’d been watching her for a while. I’m so pleased you enjoyed it
I hate Mike.
Me too! Cheers Alice
I don’t have anything fresh to say, so I’ll just say well done.
That’s more than enough! Thanks so much.
Oh dear – that doesn’t bode well for Lea!
I’ve no idea where she is now. I’m waiting for my muse to give me a clue!
Oh no. That is great. So well told Keith. Clever use of the joke, no futher explanation needed.
Thanks so much Laurie, I’m so pleased you enjoyed it
Loved that you are trying out differing styles.
Variety is the spice of life! Cheers Michael
definitely one of your best. well done.
Thanks so much Plaridel
The form of storytelling is really interesting! Knock-knock also adds an eerie feeling to the whole story!
Very innovative writing on the prompt.
https://evergreenleaf.blogspot.com/2019/02/home.html
Thanks for your kind words.
Oh, Keith! Really, really well done. The introduction of Mike into the story was just terrifying!
Very kind of you, thanks so much.
Frightening tale in a whimsical form, Keith. Welldone …
Isadora 😎
Delighted to have frightened you Isadora!
👍🏻😄
Chilling write. I love the writing style of it too.
Thanks so much Lisa
Oh! The beginning was so sweet, the middle terrifying, the end sad. Excellent stuff!
Three in one! Thanks Sascha
🙂
Oh what a great approach. As others have said, the juxtaposition of the joke with the horror of the narrative works really well. And there’s a lesson here not to be too predictable.
So true! Thanks so much for your kind words Margaret
Nice one. It really drives home the danger of predictable public habits.
Very true, you never know who might take advantage. Thanks so much.
Wowzers! This is one of your best. You did a great job of turning the knock knock joke on its ear.
Alicia, thank you so much.
Captured my attention from the beginning. A thrilling read, well done Keith!
I’m really pleased! Thanks so much for dropping by.
Scary stuff! And well written too!
Thanks Russell
Absolutely brilliant storytelling! 😀
Pure genius!
I can’t thank you enough for your generous words.
Reblogged this on The Dark Netizen and commented:
This is genius storytelling! 😀
Thank you so much – I’m honoured!
What a terrifying tale, Keith. You took us from lighthearted fun to horror in a matter of minutes. Poor Lea and poor John. Great storytelling!
Thanks for your kind words Deborah
The past catching up… what a chilling thing… our stories had a lot in common this week
They did indeed! Thanks Björn
Great story
Thanks so much Shirley
That was different and very effective. Nicely done
Thanks so much Michael
Scary! She is a smart girl to get out.