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“Welkom dames en heren!” said the guide.
“What did he say?”, asked Bill.
“No idea” said Molly, “sounded double dutch to me”.
“ I hope you enjoy your canal trip”, said the guide.
“I understood that”, said Bill.
“Me too”, said Molly, “at least I think I did!”
And they were off!
“Why isn’t he using a pole?, asked Bill.
“You are thinking of those blokes in funny hats and stripy shirts”, said Molly, “we saw them last year in Venice”.
“Oh, that’s right, gondolnoses they were called”, said Bill.
“No you silly billy Bill”, said Molly, “ears not noses, they’re called gondoliers”.
“Dames en heren”, said the guide.
“There he goes again”, moaned Bill, “talking gobbledygook”.
“Shhh”, hissed Molly.
“You will notice there are many bicycles in Amsterdam, eight hundred and eighty two thousand”.
“Thats nothing”, muttered Bill, “there are nine million in Beijing according to that singer, Katie Melonuma or whatever she calls herself”.
“There are probably four hundred and forty one thousand men wearing lycra”, murmured Molly, “caw!”.
“Behave yourself”, said Bill.
“We are now entering the Red Light District” said the guide, “some of you may wish to avert your gaze”.
“This is more like it!” said Bill looking this way and that, “ouch, that hurt, no need for that Molly”.
“These cafe’s sell drugs” said the guide, “but they cannot sell alcohol, cafe’s that sell alcahol cannot sell drugs”.
“Get high or Heinekin, I know which I prefer said Bill”, give me a Dutch beer any day!”
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“Wake up Bill”, said Molly giving him a shake, ”the tour’s over”.
“Thank gawd for that” said Bill.
“ Dank u dames en heren, tot ziens”, said the guide.
“There he goes again”, moaned Bill.
“Shut up you miserable git”, said Molly, “we’re off to the Van Gogh exhibition now”.
“Van Gogh, he had a cough, sunflowers made him sneeze…”,
“…and I say shut up please”, said Molly as she dragged Bill along de straat!
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Thanks to Sadje or hosting What Do You See?
Haha! This one is bloody brilliant. A laugh a line! And some fluent Dutch as well. Great work, Keith!
That’s so generous of you, Mason, I can’t thank you enough!
The pleasure is mine, I shared this one with my parents, they had a good chuckle too, so thank you for the smiles.
Oh, those damn ignorant tourists! Excellent, Keith. You had me wanting to smack Bill on the regular!!
Don’t get me going on tourists. One of the disadvantages of living in a seaside town! Feel free to give him a wallop!
Honestly. And I don’t want to point fingers but some countries have less erm polite tourists…
Fun post Keith
Thanks, Di!
Haha! Are these peeps related to George & Martha?
They could well be, I’ll ask them and let you know!
I just read your story, and I reckon they are!
Heeheehee! I hope they ended up having a good time. Bigger Girl went to Amsterdam and was delighted by it.
I’m sure they did, despite the bickering!
I bet she was, it’s a wonderful city.
Hilarious boat trip Keith. Thanks for joining in.
Thank you, Sadje, thanks too for the inspirational picture, it took us all over the place!
You’re always very welcome 😂
Oh fab! That boat on the Amstel… fun? Of course, and later too.🍻
I wish it was me in that boat – minus Bill and Molly of course!
That was hilarious, Keith! That poor tour guide! Lol!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Always an adventure waiting to happen over here, Keith. Loved it and the pleasure is doubled when I listen to you tell the story to me.
A fun write Keith. I would rather not be on the same boat with Bill and Molly.
I don’t blamer you! Thanks so much.
You are very welcome.