It’s Monday!

Keith's Ramblings

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“Welkom dames en heren!” said the guide.

“What did he say?”, asked  Bill.

“No idea” said Molly, “sounded double dutch to me”.

“ I hope you enjoy your canal trip”, said the guide.

“I understood that”, said Bill.

“Me too”, said Molly, “at least I think I did!”

And they were off! 

“Why isn’t he using a pole?, asked Bill.

“You are thinking of those blokes in funny hats and stripy shirts”, said Molly, “we saw them last year in Venice”.

“Oh, that’s right, gondolnoses they were called”, said Bill.

“No you silly billy Bill”, said Molly, “ears not noses, they’re called gondoliers”.

“Dames en heren”, said the guide.

 “There he goes again”, moaned Bill, “talking gobbledygook”. 

“Shhh”, hissed Molly.

“You will notice there are many bicycles in Amsterdam, eight hundred and eighty two thousand”.

“Thats nothing”, muttered Bill, “there are nine million in Beijing according to that singer, Katie Melonuma or whatever she calls herself”.

“There are probably four hundred and forty one thousand men wearing lycra”, murmured Molly, “caw!”.

“Behave yourself”, said Bill. 

“We are now entering the Red Light District” said the guide, “some of you may wish to avert your gaze”.

“This is more like it!” said Bill looking this way and that, “ouch, that hurt, no need for that Molly”.

“These cafe’s sell drugs” said the guide, “but they cannot sell alcohol, cafe’s that sell alcahol cannot sell drugs”.

“Get high or Heinekin, I know which I prefer said Bill”, give me a Dutch beer any day!”

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“Wake up Bill”, said Molly giving him a shake, ”the tour’s over”.

“Thank gawd for that” said Bill.

“ Dank u dames en heren, tot ziens”, said the guide.

“There he goes again”, moaned Bill.

“Shut up you miserable git”, said Molly, “we’re off to the Van Gogh exhibition now”.

“Van Gogh, he had a cough, sunflowers made him sneeze…”, 

“…and I say shut up please”, said Molly as she dragged Bill along de straat! 

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Thanks to Sadje or hosting What Do You See?

24 thoughts on “It’s Monday!”

  1. Mason Bushell's avatar Mason Bushell Feb 3, 2025 / 18:10

    Haha! This one is bloody brilliant. A laugh a line! And some fluent Dutch as well. Great work, Keith!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
      • Mason Bushell's avatar Mason Bushell Feb 4, 2025 / 15:19

        The pleasure is mine, I shared this one with my parents, they had a good chuckle too, so thank you for the smiles.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Dale's avatar Dale Feb 3, 2025 / 18:32

    Oh, those damn ignorant tourists! Excellent, Keith. You had me wanting to smack Bill on the regular!!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Feb 4, 2025 / 15:32

      Don’t get me going on tourists. One of the disadvantages of living in a seaside town! Feel free to give him a wallop!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      • Dale's avatar Dale Feb 4, 2025 / 18:25

        Honestly. And I don’t want to point fingers but some countries have less erm polite tourists…

        Like

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Feb 4, 2025 / 17:12

      I’m sure they did, despite the bickering!

      I bet she was, it’s a wonderful city.

      Like

      Reply
      • Sadje's avatar Sadje Feb 5, 2025 / 01:35

        You’re always very welcome 😂

        Like

  9. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Feb 8, 2025 / 10:00

    Always an adventure waiting to happen over here, Keith. Loved it and the pleasure is doubled when I listen to you tell the story to me.

    Like

    Reply
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