Six more!

Keith's Ramblings

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It was knitting night at The Baaamy Inn and the ladies were sat in a circle their needles flicking this way and that like a well-oiled machine, click-clack, chit-chat, click-clack, chit-chat, “I’d join the circle if I had the balls”, said Suzie; “Hey, I don’t tolerate sexual innuendo in my pub” yelled Landlord Len,  “she meant balls of wool” said Walter, “not bollo…”’ “OY!”

“I remember the time Keith the Rambler’s friend Rosey came in”, said Robert, “she was wearing a jumper she’d just knitted, and a bit of wool got trapped in her chair; when she walked up the left-hand side of the bar to get a drink, it started unravelling, then she walked  back again down the right-hand side leaving everyone in the pub strung together like a bundle of hay!”

Posh Poppy placed her kit on the table and strode off to get herself a drink; “I’ll have a gin and tonic, Leonard, with a slice of lemon, three lumps of ice and a sprig of mint leaves if you please”; “my next drinks gonna be a Guinness with a slice of black pudding, three lumps of coal and some blackberry leaves”, said George, “and teetotal Tim can have a lemonade with a slice of cheese, three bits of sweetcorn and a daffodil!”. 

It was time for Pete to start punning, “Mike has a mine of information about coal!” he said setting off a customary groan, “he had an accident but it was only a minor injury … he keeps a pile of coal for sedimental reasons … I confused him the other day by showing him a load of shovels and telling him to take his pick…he was refused a drink the other day because pubs don’t serve minors …” and on and on and on and on!

“I feel like I need a tonic”, said Ted,” a few days beside the seaside would be lovely”; “you do look a bit weary”, said Wendy “no I don’t” said Ted, “you nodded off just now” said Arthur, “no I didn’t” said Ted, “a session with a therapist would do you good” said Colin, “no it wouldn’t” said Ted, “you forgot to offer me a drink” said Suzie, “no I didn’t” said Ted, “in that case I’ll have a glass of red!”

One by one the ladies stopped knitting, their scarves a little longer, their tea-cosies a bit more colourful, their gloves having gained another finger or two; Pete put his puns away for another day, Ted wandered off, a little cross with himself for letting Suzie catch him out, Landlord Len rang the bell, told everybody to clear off then locked the door behind them before enjoying a nice cup of tea and a biscuit! 

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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s word is Tonic.

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*The sentence about Rosey came from one the 120+ stories I’ve written about her over the last 12 years! My favourite 50 or so are here –  My Friend Rosey

20 thoughts on “Six more!”

  4. Suzette Benjamin Apr 25, 2024 / 23:17

    Wow the puns were at their witty best, Keith. ” a pile of coal for sedimental reasons” Ahahahah LOL..

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  8. Misky Apr 27, 2024 / 21:36

    I’m beginning to wonder if you’ll ever stop making me laugh … “a lemonade with a slice of cheese, three bits of sweetcorn and a daffodil!” (hahahaha!)

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  9. clark Apr 28, 2024 / 12:08

    I’m with the others, ‘Excellent SIx!’

    (I know a person who defines a good story as” ‘(having) characters that you enjoy spending time with’

    Good Story

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    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 28, 2024 / 16:37

      Thanks so much for your kind words. That’s a very good point, I tend to agree!

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  10. Dale Apr 30, 2024 / 17:49

    Quite the night at the inn! Wish I could pull up a stool 😉

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