Six Sentences

Keith's Ramblings

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The farmers were enjoying a pint, peckish Pete was also tucking into a meal; Arthur started wriggling in his seat and said he needed a pee, so Pete said “sorry mate, I haven’t got any but you’re welcome to some cabbage, and by the way, when will Len realise that shepherds pie is made with lamb not beef?” ; “when the cows come home”, said George, “which reminds me, I think I need to reduce the number of cows I keep, and as for the sheep, I’ve got so many that I fell asleep counting them yesterday”.

“I bumped into Albert the other day”, said Colin, “you know, the  gardener up at pompous Pierre Pargiter’s mansion, he told me that Pierre’s porch was in need of repainting so his daughter offered to do it for him, well, a couple of hours later she said, ‘I’ve finished, and by the way, it’s not a Porch it’s a Bentley’!

Over at the knitting circle the needles were going at full speed like chopsticks at a Chinese Fast Food Festival; Natilie said she told her husband that she needed to see Fifty Shades of Grey, “the stupid idiot took a photo of my hair, anyway, I put him right and off we went to the cinema, well, he ordered some popcorn and the guy said ‘that’s £4 please’, and my ole’ fella said ‘that’s several times more than I paid last time’, and the guy said ‘things have changed since then old chap, movies are even made in colour now!”

It wouldn’t be an evening at The Baaamy Inn without Colin coming up with a quip or two – “what vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? a-spare-I-guess – most French recipes require only one egg because one is ‘un oeuf’ – I told my boss I needed the afternoon off because I was going to be a father, the next day he asked if it was a boy or a girl, so I said ask me again in nine months time – I told my wife she needed to start embracing her mistakes and she gave me a hug – I told my wife I needed to see a doctor and she said ‘which doctor’ and I said no, the regular one – the nurse has a red pen incase she needs to draw blood – I needed a cigareette lighter and Amazon came up with 1,000 matches – I need a password with 8 characters so I use Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – my American mate needed to to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual – I need a vacation, my wife needs a staycation, we ended up having an altercation…..”

“We were on holidays in Wales” said Babs “and we found ourselves in that town famous for it’s 60 letter name; being in need of something to eat we stopped at a restaurant, well, I asked the bloke behind the counter how to pronounce the name of where we were, very slowly, and he said ‘Maaaaac Donnnnnnalddddds’, cheeky devil!”

A while ago, Landlord Len thought he’d like to do something for those less fortunate than him and his customers, and so it was he started what he calls Nourishing the Needy; initially he placed a basket to the side of the bar with a sign asking people to donate unwanted items of food, tins and packets that sit in the cupboard for ages without ever being used, well it went wrong one night when a group of inebriated eaters took the sign literally and scraped the leftovers of their food from their plates into the basket; after a rethink he decided on a new approach, and now when paying your food bill you are invited to add another 10% which goes into a collection tin.

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By the way, the Welsh town Babs was talking about is –Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch – and Babs, there are 63 letters not 60!

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This weeks given word is Need

20 thoughts on “Six Sentences”

  1. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Oct 16, 2025 / 16:53

    Colin was on a roll today! Congrats- First laugh out loud of the day with that Porche vs Bentley line!

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  2. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny Oct 16, 2025 / 18:18

    I especially liked the one from Colin asking for a day off because he was going to be a father.

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  3. poetisatinta's avatar poetisatinta Oct 16, 2025 / 18:38

    I so love the Baaamy Inn Keith – wonderful characterisation and being Welsh, this made it particularly funny for me, ‘ ‘Maaaaac Donnnnnnalddddds’, cheeky devil!’ 😅

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Oct 17, 2025 / 14:36

      I’m guessing you have no difficulty pronouncing Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch then, Ange – or even singing it!

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      • poetisatinta's avatar poetisatinta Oct 17, 2025 / 16:28

        Yes I can Keith – it’s not that far away from me on Anglesey 😄

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  7. Rene Heartsong's avatar Rene Heartsong Oct 17, 2025 / 04:43

    Another fabulous funny visit…I think if I were there in the middle of this group, my head would be spinning. Hope you’re well, Keith!

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  9. clark's avatar clark Oct 18, 2025 / 15:33

    “…shepherds pie is made with lamb not beef?” ; “when the cows come home””

    funny, the things Readers do with ongoing/serial stories… I harbor the belief that while the pun is the one, in this series (and amusing they are) I look to the opening paragraph for wit (not that puns are not witty, they are, pritty witty… (wait for it) and quite punny

    speaking of funny lines, i.e Pierre’s daughter’s line it totally triggered the memory of a punchline, ‘No! It’s a Rincoln Rincoln

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