Six Sentences

Keith's Ramblings

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The annual Fruit and Vegetable Show is one of the town’s main events and it took place last Saturday, the farmers were having a chat about it; “I was admiring Stacey’s crop of strawberries”, said Fred “they were absolutely enormous, I asked her if she used cow manure on them and she said ‘no, I prefer them plain or with a dollop of cream’, then I saw Claire’s cabbages, she was telling me that she fancied one for dinner the other night so she sent her hubby out the cabbage patch to dig one up, well, he used a pitchfork and accidentally stabbed his foot and he let out a hell of a yell, ‘oh dear’ I said, ‘what did you do?’, and she said she opened a can of peas!”

Ted entered the bar carrying a large bag, “I’ve just been to the fancy dress shop and hired a pirates’ outfit to wear at my grandson’s birthday party” he said as he showed us a three pointed hat and an eye patch, “the only thing they is, they didn’t have a hook, the guy suggested I went to the second hand shop to get one, do you think he was joking?”

I was at a fancy dress party once”, said Colin, “and there was a chap in a brown onesie carrying a girl on his back, he said ‘I’m a tortoise and that’s Michelle’ – a guy walked into bar, then realised he had his patch on the wrong eye – Apple have invented something for pirates, an i-Patch – what did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? aye matey – how much do a pirates charge for piercings? a buccaneer……” 

“I see they’ve patched up the cricket pitch, it was about time”, said Arthur; “I don’t understand the rules of cricket” said Babs, “well”, said Arthur, “you have two sides in the field, one is in and one is out, each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out, then when they are all out the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those that came in out, but sometimes you get men still out and not out, when both sides have been in and out including the not outs, the game is over, it’s as simple as that!”

Over at the knitting circle, Polly was busily stitching a colourful square, “I’m making a patchwork quilt for our bed”, she said, “I didn’t realise how much wool it would  need, which reminds me, did you know it takes three sheep to make a woolly jumper?” ; “I didn’t know sheep could knit”, quipped Kay!

Landlord Len went down to the cellar to change a barrel, it’s really quiet down there, hard to believe there’s a busy bar above his head; for a moment his mind went back to when he was young and his parents were running The Baaamy Inn, Maggie was his girlfriend then and they would often sneak down to the cellar for a kiss and a cuddle; “we had fun didn’t we Maggie?” he said as he sat down on a keg, ‘you were a barrel of laughs back then!’ whispered Maggie.

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s given word is Patch 

24 thoughts on “Six Sentences”

  1. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Jul 31, 2025 / 16:48

    I absolutely love Calare’s response to the hubby piercing his foot with a pitchfork- she knew he would have it her center of vision soon enough- so why rush things! Thanks for the absolute most fun I can have in three minutes!

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  5. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Jul 31, 2025 / 18:36

    A hook at a second hand shop… an i-patch and a buck an ear were a barrel of laughs, Keith. LOL!! Superb storytelling!

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      • Rene Heartsong's avatar Rene Heartsong Aug 1, 2025 / 20:55

        From my past blogs, you were always my go-to when my mood slipped…you haven’t lost a step in the Humor Dept…we all need it, and you😊

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  9. Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶's avatar Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶 Aug 1, 2025 / 19:09

    This one is so jam packed with puns, it’s easy to miss one. Absolutely hilarious, dear Keith. A good time is guaranteed at the Baaamy Inn! Fantastic!

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  11. clark's avatar clark Aug 2, 2025 / 22:31

    for all of the jokes (and they are, make no mistake) quite punny… the heart of this place/serial six is offered, in measured doses by the end e.g.:

    “Landlord Len went down to the cellar to change a barrel, it’s really quiet down there, hard to believe there’s a busy bar above his head; for a moment his mind went back“

    and it is this, fictional character’s memories of a world that is possibly as real as the technology in which it exists, that keeps me coming back

    good Six

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