Six bigguns!

Keith's Ramblings

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The wind was blowing a gale outside The Baaamy Inn, the door flew open and a windswept gentleman staggered in, steadied himself then made his made his way over the farmer’s table where he sat down; he looked strangly familiar but none of them were quite sure who he was!

“Welcome”, said Ted, “and who are you?”; “I’m Arthur,  you wally”, he said, “I thought I’d follow Len’s example and go for a trendy look by shaving all off my hair … well, actually I shouldn’t wind you up, if the truth be told I lost my hair when I was in my twenties and unbeknown to you lot I’ve worn a very convincing wig eversince, anyway, when I got out of my car just now the wind blew if off and it ended up in that tree”; they all peered out of the window and there it was, Babs said it looked like a nest, and it would probably have bird living in soon; ”like a Hairbnb!” quipped Colin – Suzie from the next table jumped to feet, flapped her arms and sang, “some day I’ll fly away…”

“Earlier today I had to collect my grandfather clock from TicToc Tim, the clock repairer”, said Ted, “for some reason I wasn’t able to wind it up, anyway as I was taking it from the shop to my van, the wind caught me and I accidentally bumped into some bloke, well, he called me a clumsy idiot and said I should wear a wristwatch like everybody else, bloody cheek – which reminds me, Tim’s thinking of winding down his business because most people have digital timepieces now and there’s no money to be made from fitting new batteries.

George swallowed the remains of his beer, slammed down his tankard and let out a thunderous belch; “sorry ‘bout that”, he said, “I’ve been suffering from a bit of wind just lately, we wined and dined at that posh restaurant in town the other day, the one where you have to dress smartly and mind your ps and qs, well I gobbled my grub a little too enthusiatically and much to my wife’s embarrassment I let out a burp of royal proportions, if the King had been there I’d probably have got a royal pardon – by the way I’m told the King farts at the palace so there’s air to the throne!”

That was all Colin needed to get going; “I asked the doctor if he had anything for wind and he gave me a kite – three old men are sitting on a park bench, the first says ‘windy, innit?’, the second says ’no, thursdy’ and the third says “me too, let’s go for a pint’ – football stadiums are windy because of all the fans – 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down – when a clock’s hungry it goes back 4 seconds –  hickory hickory dock,  three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck one and the other two got away with minor injuries………!

It was almost eleven pm and time for Landlord Len to wind things down; he rang the bell and shouted “time ladies and gentlemen please, you’ve all got beds to go and so have I, Polly, don’t open your umbrella out there or you’ll become the town’s answer to Mary Poppins!

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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s given word is wind – I managed to use it nine times!

21 thoughts on “Six bigguns!”

  1. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Feb 20, 2025 / 17:04

    Another thoroughly enjoyable afternoon spent at the Baaamy Inn. Thanks, for the laughs.

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  2. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny Feb 20, 2025 / 20:57

    Nice one about 6:30 being the best time on the clock “hands down”. “Hairbnb” also keeps coming back to mind and the farewell warning to Polly, the future Mary Poppins.

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  3. Prior...'s avatar Prior... Feb 20, 2025 / 22:13

    Wow, Keith, I am not sure how you come up with so amny jokes and quips! And I really loved the air to the throne and all of the funny jokes that “Colin had once he got going”
    enjoyed this and thanks for the smiles.

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      • Prior...'s avatar Prior... Feb 21, 2025 / 22:55

        🙂
        There were three separate sections for me – and it was “tri” interesting

        Like

      • Sadje's avatar Sadje Feb 23, 2025 / 00:12

        It’s a pleasure to read about the pub and the adventures of all involved. 👍🏼👌🏼

        Liked by 1 person

  10. clark's avatar clark Feb 25, 2025 / 01:38

    dude!

    (here’s something weird, visual on my second read-through (‘winding back the hands of Time, don’cha know)… Merlin commanding books to spray punny words around a castle keep (or, right on the heels of that… Mickey Mouse as the that sorcerers’ apprentice and the mops from the movie ‘Fantasia’ with the mops… one of those)

    yeah, I know! long way to go for an erudite chuckle lol

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