Wooden heart

Keith's Ramblings

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Page and Turner were sitting opposite one another, each reading a book, the way they did most evenings. The only sound to break the silence was the occasional sigh, a stifled chuckle or a sudden gasp. 

Turner, however, seemed a little restless. His mind had strayed from the story in which, until then, he’d been totally absorbed. Something entered his mind, something Page said before they headed off to the land of nod the previous night.

To Page’s amazement, he began to sing, she’d never experienced anything like it from him…

Can’t you see I love you

Please don’t break my heart in two

That’s not hard to do

‘cos I don’t have a wooden heart…

“What was that in aid of?” she asked as she recovered her book from the floor.

“Well, you said that my reading of the passage from Lumberjack by Tim Burr at the Book Club last night was, and I quote, wooden. You’ve no idea how much that upset me, I felt a complete plank”.

“I was joking, it was a pun! You’re not wooden, in all the years of cuddling we’ve enjoyed I’ve never had as much as a splinter!”

“In that case I forgive you. Tomorrow, would you like a walk in the woods?”

“I would if you would!”

“Just don’t compare me to a tree while we’re there, because if you do, I’ll leaf you!”

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© Ayr/Gray

Thanks to Jenne Gray and C.E.Ayr for hosting The Unicorn Challenge

30 thoughts on “Wooden heart”

  1. jenne49 May 25, 2024 / 15:43

    Can you hear me laughing?
    So punny, Keith, and all the way through, right from Page and Turner.
    Brilliant.
    And such great singing too.
    (PS Have you seen Margaret’s story? Synchronicity or what?)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings May 25, 2024 / 16:45

      I wondered what that laughter was coming from! Thanks Jenne, I’m pleased you liked it.

      I’ve just visited Margaret’s place. Delightful – great minds think alike!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  2. beth May 25, 2024 / 15:53

    Just don’t fall for someone else and leaf me a stump

    Liked by 1 person

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  3. clark May 25, 2024 / 16:15

    damn! Beth got the first of puny comments…

    I am un-deciduous on the value of my contributions…

    gimme a minute

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  7. Suzette Benjamin May 25, 2024 / 21:12

    Thank Yew Keith for this page turner! Can I axe you a question? Are they out of the woods yet? I hope they don’t get board!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  10. Margaret May 26, 2024 / 09:10

    You’ve sparked a comment list full of woody puns with this one. I’m not going to attempt to add anything to the list. I’m still chuckling at your story, and Page and Turner are a very likeable couple. Turner’s tuneful complaint would melt the most wooden of hearts.

    And on that note, I enjoyed your rendition of his song very much, as well as the narration.

    Who’d have thought two of us would come up with the same tune? Although, wooden man/wooden heart. There’s some kind of logic there. I’ve been flicking through Youtube and listening to/watching old clips. The one of Elvis singing this in the movie is good – corny, but cute.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. Dale May 26, 2024 / 16:32

    Just starting off with Page and Turner was excellent. And then you branched out into everything woodsy. Most enjoyable and had me chuckling.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. ceayr May 26, 2024 / 18:34

    Seems ol’ Turner’s no sap, and his bark is worse than his bite.

    You should know, Keef, that puns are the root of all humour.

    Now I’m groaning at myself!

    PS Love the story!

    Like

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings May 27, 2024 / 17:40

      Now you’ve started, I would never have expected that from you!

      That aside, I’m pleased you liked it.

      Like

      Reply
  13. Liz H-H Jun 5, 2024 / 18:38

    Oh Keith, you scamp! Puns and accordion and singing in one post? Knocked it out of the ballpark with this. Well done!

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