250 Words!

Keith's Ramblings

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Deep in the woods she’s runnning, jumping ditches, clambering up slopes and down, her tear stained face ashen with fear. Images of the depraved creature that held her captive refuse to leave her tortured mind. She must keep going. She’d outwitted him. Just once, but once was enough because she’d somehow managed to slipaway unnoticed.

She darts ‘twixt trees and bushes. She’s dizzy and trembling, tripping and lurching, but mercifully getting further away from the the life that held her prisoner for as long as her messed up mind could recall.  

She stops. She holds her breath for a couple of seconds, listening for any sounds that might warn her of his pursuit. Her heart misses a beat as the crack of branch and the flapping of wings breaks the eerie silence. 

For a few moments, she allows happy thoughts to flood her mind, but  suddenly they spill as she trips, and tumbles into a pool of mud. She lays there trying to catch her breath. She gasps, and thumps her chest desperately trying to fill her aching lungs. 

And then she sees it. A bridge. Beyond it, a vista bathed in sunlight. A place where a new life awaits her.

Gradually the shaking ceases, the tears stop flowing and a sense of calm envelopes her. Looking over her shoulder she bids goodbye to the past. As she stands and walks forward she smiles, her first smile for many a year. 

‘You are free’ whispers the breeze, ‘free at last’.

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© Ayr/Gray

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Thanks to Jenne Gray and C.E.Ayr for hosting The Unicorn Challenge.

33 thoughts on “250 Words!”

  5. Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶's avatar The Sicilian Storyteller Jan 13, 2024 / 18:35

    You are becoming the master of mystery here at the Uni, Keith. I delight in reading your tense and gripping pieces so smoothy written. This was terrifying and death-defying, pushing the limits of ‘will she/won’t she. Excellent, spell-binding writing, Keith!

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  6. Dale's avatar Dale Jan 13, 2024 / 19:22

    You had me holding my breath for her, Keith. Tense and perfectly paced. Lovely that she is free at the end of all that.

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  11. ben Alexander's avatar ben Alexander Jan 14, 2024 / 08:18

    Keith, the intensity of your protagonist’s escape and the vivid portrayal of her fear and determination make for a compelling narrative!

    I find the sudden shift from despair to hope, symbolized by the discovery of the bridge and the vista bathed in sunlight, to be a powerful moment of transformation. 🙂

    ~David

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  12. jenne49's avatar jenne49 Jan 14, 2024 / 11:30

    Powerful story, Keith.
    You really convey the terror and the frantic need to escape, right up to the turning point of the bridge
    And such a beautiful final line.

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  15. ceayr's avatar ceayr Jan 16, 2024 / 08:08

    A big change from your usual writing, Keith, but just as expertly done.
    First-class portrayal of fear and desperation, followed by the joy of freedom.

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