A short story

Keith's Ramblings

…for Rochelle’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt.

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dearjoe-7.regular (2)

Let me read it to you!

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A waxen candle, a golden flame. Glasses of crimson wine. Their hands rested on the table, his fingers brushing hers.

He stared into her eyes, she blushed.

A waiter appeared. On a silver platter sat a small square box. 

He took it, and raised the lid to reveal the most beautiful ring imaginable. Tears filled her eyes.

He took her hand, but she drew it away.

Neither understood what was happening. She stood and fled the room.

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In the middle of the night his phone rang. He pressed it to his ear but before he could speak, a faint voice whispered, ‘hello’.693542

dearjoe-7.regular (1)

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Click the ring to see the squares!

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candles-susan-rouchard

PHOTO PROMPT © Susan Rouchard

Audio background music – Best Friends by the Romantic Piano Music Academy

55 thoughts on “A short story”

  2. Sandra's avatar Sandra Dec 13, 2023 / 16:02

    Wondering now whether it’s an apology, an explanation, or an acceptance.

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  4. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Dec 13, 2023 / 17:38

    Wonderful love story with an unexpected ending, Keith. I wonder who was on the other end of that call?

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  5. Dale's avatar Dale Dec 13, 2023 / 18:27

    Men should stop doing this type of thing in such a public setting. Sadly she was not on the same page as him. Nicely done!

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      • Dale's avatar Dale Dec 13, 2023 / 18:52

        Every time I see these grandiose marriage proposals, I think man… I hope you guys already spoke about the possibility of marriage coz if you didn’t and she ain’t digging it, you are putting her in a very uncomfortable position!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dale's avatar Dale Dec 14, 2023 / 11:17

        Oh dear….

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  6. Dora's avatar dorahak Dec 13, 2023 / 20:29

    This is a sad one! Will they still be friends? Can they be? One with a broken heart, the other whose heart is free? I wonder what he’ll do. What a well-written vignette, Keith!

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  7. Lisa or Li's avatar msjadeli Dec 13, 2023 / 21:39

    I’m glad she let him know right away instead of leading him on. It will still hurt, but maybe heal a little more quickly? Beautiful music to accompany your story.

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  8. athling2001's avatar athling2001 Dec 13, 2023 / 22:31

    What a beautiful mystery. I want to know if it is her on the phone and what else she will say.

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  12. Margaret's avatar Margaret Dec 14, 2023 / 05:04

    Oh, poor man. I think she’ll change her mind. How could she reject such a proposal? She just needed time to think about it. Anyway, that’s what’s happening in my continuation of your story. Lovely.

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  13. GHLearner's avatar GHLearner Dec 14, 2023 / 12:51

    So beautiful and subtle, I love it. Maybe she needs a bit more time, and sometimes commitment just isn’t the right thing. I hope they can mend their friendship.

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  14. Bill's avatar Bill Dec 14, 2023 / 16:03

    So many songs are playing in my head after reading this.
    Unrequited love, I think they call it. A great topic to write about, but living it, at least from his point of view, sucks. 🙂
    Well, at least SHE called HIM. That is something.

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  15. Nancy's Notes 🖊️🎶's avatar The Sicilian Storyteller Dec 14, 2023 / 21:20

    Not the way I hoped this would end but your writing is lovely and so very touching.
    Perhaps there is hope for them? A beautiful write, Keith.

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. messymimi's meanderings's avatar messymimi's meanderings Dec 14, 2023 / 23:03

    If you haven’t talked about marriage seriously, and you aren’t completely sure she’s waiting for you to ask, don’t ask in public. It’s so sad when this happens.

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  17. granonine's avatar granonine Dec 15, 2023 / 02:38

    I’ve often wondered about the wisdom of a public proposal. So glad ours was private and personal! Apparently she wasn’t ready for him to pop the question.

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  19. notestowomen's avatar notestowomen Dec 15, 2023 / 16:57

    How embarrassing it was for him to propose her and for her to react that way. She obviously wasn’t prepared for it. Maybe her phone call would encourage and give him some hope.

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  20. poetisatinta's avatar poetisatinta Dec 15, 2023 / 21:06

    Great story Keith – I don’t understand why some men think a big public show is the way to go – crazy 😄

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  21. rochellewisoff's avatar rochellewisoff Dec 17, 2023 / 11:40

    Dear Keith,

    How disappointing for him. And to be rejected in a public place had to have been devastating for both of them. Well told.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Dec 18, 2023 / 13:42

      Thanks, Rochelle. Sadly they both wanted different things in their relationship

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  22. Dawn M. Miller's avatar Dawn M. Miller Dec 18, 2023 / 10:46

    Oh wow, poor guy, this happened to me. I can still remember the look on his face when I turned him down. Maybe if he had waited another 6 months, or a year it would have been different. Maybe not. Hard to stay friends after that.
    Good story!

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