My six!

Keith's Ramblings

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“Move your fat backside Colin,” said Arthur, “there’s room for two on this bench; and by the way when I was in the toilet that guy who moved here from America was there, Ridley Liddle was having a piddle, and I asked him where in the US-of-A he was from and he said ‘New York’s Liddelidely’, by which I think he meant Little Italy, then he said he’s just got back from a holiday in Big Idaly because he wanted to know what it looked like, and I said last time I saw a map of Italy it looked like a wellie boot!

Then he started moaning about the food there and complained that they didn’t know how to make pizzas because the one he was given was skinny and crispy without a piece of pineapple in sight, and as for their bread, American loaves were far better than theirs; apparently the waiter started spluttering, went bright red and told him to focacca-off”…“OY, I’ll have no swear words in my pub, not even foreign ones” shouted Landlord Len.

“I’ve had lots of foreign grub,” said Ted, “in Spain, Greece, France, Germany, Belgium and even China, I’ve eaten tapas, moussaka, frogs legs, waffles, schnitzel, and even a sheep’s testacle, it was at a Chinese food festival where I really had a ball.…” ; “OY,” yelled Landlord Len, ”remember where you are, I won’t have you upsetting the creature on my pub sign!”.

Suzie and Babs were playing chess at the next table – at least Babs was, Suzie kept getting it confused with a game of draughts and every time it was her move she’d hop over Babs pieces like a crazy kangaroo … which reminded Ted that he’d fed on ‘roo’ in Australia!

“I ate my cat’s food last night”, said Colin, “don’t ask meeow, then I swallowed some food colouring and felt like I’d died a little inside, and by the way, if you’ve not tried Turkish food you oughtta man, but I don’t like aircraft food, it’s so plane….”; “enough of your puns” said Arthur, “sorry if I’m making you feel pun-comfortable” Colin replied!

“I’m going to make a move” said Ted, “it’s getting late and all this talk of food’s made me hungry so I’m going to pick up some fish and chips on my way home, bye Arthur, bye Colin, bye Suzie, bye Babs, bye Len, …. bye Ridley, glad you enjoyed Idaly!”

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s given word is Move

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22 thoughts on “My six!”

  2. Frank Hubeny Jun 20, 2024 / 19:05

    I especially liked Colin’s comment about eating cat food and swallowing food coloring.

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  3. Dale Jun 20, 2024 / 19:34

    Haha! I’m reminded of a friend who, sitting at the Club bar in an airport, noticed a guy’s tattoo. He told him: You do realise that your tat has an error in it… It’s Italy, not Itly. The guy responded. Nah man, that’s how we say it!

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  5. Misky Jun 20, 2024 / 21:41

    Oh gosh, stop already stop … I’m trying to eat some Ready salted and I think one’s caught sideways. It’s dangerous reading about pieces jumping like crazy kangaroo, unless of course your name is Lineker.

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  10. Natasha Jun 24, 2024 / 12:07

    Rolling on the floor laughing. This was beyond pun-tastic.

    Reminded me of Rosey’s adventures for a bit. Where has she been hiding, by the way Keith? Is she on an endless sabbatical. 🙂

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