A short story …

for Friday Fictioneers

cloister-black-light (1)

.

I’m thirsty. I think I’ll have a glass of ice-cold water.

‘Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake, Timothy 5:23. Here endeth the first lesson’.

Okay, wine. Or maybe a beer. 

‘Beer to those who are perishing, wine to those in anguish, Proverbs 31:6.  Here endeth the second lesson’.

Erm, I’d better have wine then.

‘Wine’s a mocker, beer’s a brawler; whoever’s led astray by them is unwise, Proverbs 24:1. Here endeth the third lesson’.

I’m really confused! 

‘A double-minded man is unstable, James 1:8. Here endeth the fourth lesson’.

Oh, shove off,  Exodus 10:28.

 

wine-cellarThanks to Rochelle for hosting and providing this week’s picture.

 

Click Froggie to join in the fun!

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79 thoughts on “A short story …

  1. neilmacdon Dec 15, 2021 / 15:41

    Nobody likes a smartarse, especially not one with a biblical quote for every temptation

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Ain Dec 15, 2021 / 20:08

    Absolutely! For those special occasions when few words suffice!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. dorahak Dec 15, 2021 / 20:40

    I loved how this reminded me of Wodehouse stories: Terrific!
    Pax,
    Dora

    Liked by 1 person

  4. pennygadd51 Dec 15, 2021 / 22:59

    Great story, Pharaoh!
    You give us a humorous exposition of the dangers of taking scriptural quotes out of context. 5 out of 5 thoughtful smiles, Keith.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Christine Goodnough Dec 16, 2021 / 03:05

    He should go back to his first choice. Then..”He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water. His leaf shall not wither and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” Psalm 1:2.
    As you have demonstrated, it’s possible to come to any conclusion — or complete confusion – taking Bible verses at random. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. msjadeli Dec 16, 2021 / 04:17

    The Bible is a great one for thumping others with. Luckily you can also thump back with it. You had me laughing loudly with how you read it. You’re very good at it.

    Like

  7. James McEwan Dec 16, 2021 / 12:00

    I love the humour: He who lives on the mount shares his bread and fish with the multitude. He who lives in the valley drinks wine.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Bill Dec 16, 2021 / 19:57

    I rather like being of two minds. It gives me someone to talk to on cold, lonely nights. 🙂 I really enjoyed what you did here, google or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. rochellewisoff Dec 16, 2021 / 22:01

    Dear Keith,

    There’s cherry picking confusion at its finest. Perfect ending line. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Dec 17, 2021 / 17:01

      Indeed! I thought he deserved that final quote – “Get out of my sight. Make sure you do not appear before me again”.

      Like

  10. plaridel Dec 17, 2021 / 00:38

    what can i say, even the devil can quote the bible if it suits him. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Michael Dec 17, 2021 / 00:40

    You have got me smiling again, good one

    Liked by 1 person

  12. draliman Dec 17, 2021 / 14:03

    There’s a quote to say anything you like somewhere in the great book!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Bear Dec 17, 2021 / 14:08

    I’m sorry, but this is just too funny! (cackling laughter). I’ve seen people use these scriptures to “forgive” themselves for getting wasted and addicted. Great story and stiff reminder to use in moderation and not be a drunkard… That’s in the scripture, too. I just can’t remember the verse address.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. i b arora Dec 19, 2021 / 02:54

    that’s out of box imagination.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Lisa Dec 19, 2021 / 05:26

    Very clever! It sounds like Reverend Lovejoy giving advice to Homer about his drinking. The Bible does have a way with contradicting itself.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. GHLearner Dec 19, 2021 / 10:16

    Wonderful. And a perfect example how you can find proof for everything if you quote it out of context, be it myth or fact.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Nobbinmaug Dec 19, 2021 / 21:18

    I got a good laugh out of this one. Anyone who reads the Bible and isn’t confused is lying or imbibing all of the above.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Tannille Dec 20, 2021 / 06:37

    I was kind of shocked watching a doco and they claimed in the past there were populations of people that only drank alcohol because water was dirty. What iron livers they must have had… and the bible.

    Liked by 1 person

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