Crouching in a deep hollow, they had a perfect view of the field. The atmosphere was tense, their nerves on edge. An arsenal of weapons was close to hand. After days of preparation, they were ready for anything. Breathe deeply lads, breathe deeply.
The attack came suddenly. The enemy charged forward, bombarding them with missiles. A shower of soggy sprouts was followed by a riot of rotten cabbage cannonballs.
They retaliated with a cascade of stale cupcakes and a barrage of mouldy bread rolls. The food fight was in full flow.
Twenty minutes later, ankle-deep in rotten food and their energy sapped, they emerged from the ditch defeated, hands held high. The loser’s punishment was to clean up the battlefield and return the spent ammunition to the garbage bins behind the supermarket from whence it came.