A story and a poem…

Keith's Ramblings

for Friday Fictioneers

I had two stabs at a piece this week and couldn’t make my mind up which to use, so I’ve been greedy and posted them both!

 

why-do-we-blink-so-frequently.dark

He’d dismissed what they’d said about her. Called it idle gossip, jealousy even. Whatever they claimed, he came back with an answer, an excuse.

He’d been blind to what was happening. So close he couldn’t see it. Blinkered, his mind placed obstacles before his eyes. She wouldn’t, she couldn’t. Not her. Never.

But it made sense now. He can’t explain what brought on that sudden moment of realisation. It was like something lifted him up enabling him to see above and beyond the wall of denial.

They’d been right all along, he was wrong.

And now he knew she’d wronged him.

 

*

 

sunshine-in-my-soul.regular

 

I will he said

You won’t said she

I will he said

Just wait and see

 

You’ll fall she said

I won’t said he

You will she said

Now listen to me

 

I won’t he said

you will said she

Don’t you dare

climb up that tree

 

I will said he

No don’t said she

as he began

to climb the tree

 

Whoops

Help

Ouch

Mum?

 

Told you so

 

…and that is why I don’t write many poems!

 

finding-a-signalFriday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle and this week’s picture is from Susan Eames

Prod the frog to see what everyone else is up to!

bigfred2

83 thoughts on “A story and a poem…”

  1. rochellewisoff May 29, 2019 / 12:50

    Dear Keith,

    Both pieces were worth the read. 😉 The poem made me laugh. BTW, how did you manage to make the frog turn green? Of course I would turn him purple.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings May 29, 2019 / 13:04

      Thanks so much, Rochelle. As for Froggie, I copied and saved the blue image then changed the colour on the Ribbet photo editing suite. Then I copy and save the URL of the InLink page and apply it to the image when I post it on my site. I hope I haven’t completely confused you! Next week, purple it is!

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  3. Christine Goodnough May 29, 2019 / 13:16

    I really liked your poem, too. You should write more. 😉
    Your story’s more of an overview, which goes with the picture but I suspect readers would rather witness that “moment of realization.”

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Keith's Ramblings May 30, 2019 / 11:08

      I may just do that! I used to write lots of poetry then one day stopped! We’ll see.

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  4. Denise D Hammond May 29, 2019 / 13:27

    Well, the poem fit the pic, but I liked the ‘wronged’ story. Guy sounds like he got the slap upside the head. Love is blind…

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. Iain Kelly May 29, 2019 / 15:19

    I enjoyed the poem – my kids are just at that age where they have stopped listening to parental advice… One day hopefully they’ll manage to see over that particular wall!

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. trentpmcd May 29, 2019 / 17:14

    Both are good, and an “ouch” to both, emotional ouch and physical ouch.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. granonine May 29, 2019 / 17:54

    I’m glad you posted both. The first is sad and poignant. The second is just normal life for a rascally boy and his longsuffering Mum 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings May 30, 2019 / 11:01

      I wrote two then couldn’t make my mind up which to use which is how I ended up with two! Thanks Linda

      Liked by 1 person

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  12. pennygadd51 May 29, 2019 / 18:08

    Two nice offerings – you spoil us, Keith! I enjoyed your story’s oblique take on the post, and I enjoyed the shrewd observation of the poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. msjadeli May 29, 2019 / 20:17

    Both are well-written and I love the wordplay in your poetic 2nd one.

    Liked by 1 person

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  15. Dale May 30, 2019 / 00:06

    Both were great, Keith!
    Lookit you, turning the frog green! (I saw the how-to to Rochelle 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Keith's Ramblings May 31, 2019 / 09:55

      That’s the one I’m most pleased with – I had no idea my silly little poem would prove so popular though!

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  23. patriciaruthsusan May 30, 2019 / 15:46

    I liked both of these pieces, Keith. The second one was really cute. It reminded me of my children. I had a son and a daughter and she was the climber. Well written. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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  24. Brenda's Thoughts May 30, 2019 / 16:18

    He wanted to believe but glad he realized in the end. Still hurts though. I liked both but loved your poem!

    Liked by 1 person

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  27. Colline May 31, 2019 / 12:28

    I enjoyed your contribution this week Keith. It almost ties in with my story 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  30. aheartforafrica641064503 May 31, 2019 / 18:52

    I liked both of them. They share the same message, though. Don’t ignore the warnings.

    Liked by 1 person

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  31. gahlearner May 31, 2019 / 23:35

    I love them both. The first for the above and beyond interpretation of the picture, the second for the fun, and I love the rhythm.

    Liked by 1 person

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  32. Margaret Jun 1, 2019 / 10:49

    Two enjoyable pieces. I hope the wronged lover finds a more worthy recipient of his affections next time. Fun poem, too. Maybe the tree climber in the poem who wouldn’t listen to his mum grew up into the spurned lover of the story who still won’t listen to the voice of reason.

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  33. kzmcb Jun 1, 2019 / 11:18

    I liked them both! The story has twists and turns in language as well as the tale, while the poem has a jumpy, nursery-rhyme beat that reminded me of skipping rhymes or those hand-clapping games.

    Liked by 1 person

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  34. Shelley Jun 1, 2019 / 11:59

    I enjoyed the twist you took on the prompt. Your poem is playful and right to a punching (ouch) point. 😉 Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

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  36. Russell Gayer Jun 1, 2019 / 16:50

    Good tale of a guy wearing blinders in a relationship. I enjoyed the poem too. Mom always knows best.

    Liked by 1 person

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  39. Laurie Bell Jun 3, 2019 / 21:32

    Hahaha both are very good Keith. The poem was fun and the first suspicious piece… well told

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