100 words

Keith's Ramblings

for Friday Fictioneers

 

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We can just make him out. A vague figure looming in the gloom of the disused cotton mill. We knew he’d be here. 

We’d threaded together strands of information, tip-offs and hunches; clues, no matter how nebulous. Months of painstaking work by our dedicated officers has brought us here, the place where he controls his evil operation. We have a job to do. An arrest to make. Victims of his sordid contemptible business to rescue.

Soon you’ll be free. Soon. I promise.

My head’s reeling with nervous excitement. ‘Five’ I whisper, ‘four, three, two, one…’

‘GO GO GO’ I yell.

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Word count 100

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56 thoughts on “100 words”

  1. rochellewisoff Mar 27, 2019 / 12:00

    Dear Keith,

    You have me wondering what the operation entails. Well woven piece.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

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  4. pennygadd51 Mar 27, 2019 / 15:33

    I admire the way you use the prompt both physically and metaphorically. And you’ve constructed a strong story with a good build of tension. Nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. granonine Mar 27, 2019 / 15:39

    Very exciting, Keith. Sounds like a script for an episode of SVU 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. hilarymb Mar 27, 2019 / 15:43

    Hi Keith – a distant shadow taking with him his gore and world of hate – fun read – presume he’s caught or sent off into the universe … cheers Hilary

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. ceayr Mar 27, 2019 / 22:47

    Well that all got a bit frantic, didn’t it!
    Nicely built, Keith

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  11. Dale Mar 27, 2019 / 22:47

    I really enjoyed this, Keith. You built the tension without giving us details.

    Liked by 1 person

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      • Dale Mar 29, 2019 / 01:33

        And that’s great!!

        Like

  17. Na'ama Yehuda Mar 28, 2019 / 14:11

    Well done, Keith! If that man is the man from my piece, I hope they find him and … um … ensure he won’t harm anyone again …
    You built the tension and the scene and the state of mind of the narrator very well!
    Na’ama

    Liked by 1 person

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  21. 4963andypop Mar 30, 2019 / 12:01

    As said above, tension and anticipation, coiled like a spring. Could be a mob raid, or maybe a human trafficking ( for the purposes of garment work) case, who knows. You plop us in, at the height of tension, leaving us thirsting for details. Good work!

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Keith's Ramblings Mar 30, 2019 / 13:27

      I’m so pleased it had the desired effect! I wrote it as a police operation hence the mention of officers and an impending arrest. Thanks so much for your kind words.

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  22. Laurie Bell Apr 1, 2019 / 02:58

    Fabulous. And clever idea based off the prompt. All the loose threads of a case pulled together

    Liked by 1 person

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  23. Alice Audrey Apr 1, 2019 / 04:17

    Ah, the tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive are so easily cut through by the authorities.

    Liked by 1 person

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  25. Margaret Apr 2, 2019 / 05:35

    Exciting story. Great build-up and the scene setting. Yay for the good guys!

    Liked by 1 person

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  26. gahlearner Apr 2, 2019 / 13:53

    I love this, great tension and very exciting. The personal touch of wanting to free someone close to them gives it an extra punch.

    Liked by 1 person

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