Flash fiction…

Keith's Ramblings

for Friday Fictioneers

 

chic-chak-zubra.regular (4)

“Who’s there?”

“Disguise”

“Disguise who?”

“Disguise in love with you!”

They did it every night when John got home.

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chic-chak-zubra.regular (4)

“Why the funny voice?”  Lea giggled.

“Knock-knock”

“John, you’re scaring me”

She opened the door, just a little. A man in a hoodie barged his way in and thumped the lightswitch plunging the flat into darkness.

“Get out” yelled Lea.

He lowered his hood and shone a torch from beneath his chin.

“I said I’d find you Lea”

What the hell do you want Mike?”

“Stupid question Lea. I’m collecting what’s mine”

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chic-chak-zubra.regular (4)

Nothing.

“Knock-knock”, louder.

“Lea, knock-knock sweetheart!”

Silence.

John unlocked the door.

Lea was nowhere to be seen.

 

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Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle. This week’s photo is by J Hardy Carroll

Post 1769

82 thoughts on “Flash fiction…”

  1. k rawson Feb 13, 2019 / 14:22

    Novel story-telling. The juxtaposition of the knock knock joke with the horror story really works.

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  3. pennygadd51 Feb 13, 2019 / 14:54

    Excellent and novel little chiller, Keith. You did it very well. I wonder whether John is the sort of guy who will go looking for Lea to rescue her.

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  4. Sandra Feb 13, 2019 / 15:26

    That’s a cracker of an idea, and structured in a novel, scary but almost amusing way. You excelled yourself this week.

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    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 13, 2019 / 15:35

      Thanks so much, Sandra, that’s so kind of you. – to be honest, I spent longer fiddling and formatting than I did writing it!

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  6. Dale Feb 13, 2019 / 18:57

    Must agree with everyone, Keith. Fantabulous idea of mixing innocent fun with horror.
    Poor Lea! Go get her, John!

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  8. Iain Kelly Feb 13, 2019 / 19:41

    Terrifying in its simplicity Keith, very well done, and a refreshing change of tone.

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  10. Na'ama Yehuda Feb 14, 2019 / 01:26

    Yikes! How scary .. and alas how true a terror for many who live with domestic violence, stalking, and abusers.

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  11. Abhijit Ray Feb 14, 2019 / 06:42

    Chilling! Barging in and kidnapping a human being.

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  12. hilarymb Feb 14, 2019 / 07:39

    Hi Keith – not nice at all … glad it’s a sunny day! I imagine it happens … well told – cheers Hilary

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  14. ceayr Feb 14, 2019 / 08:35

    Knock knock
    Who’s there?
    UX
    UX who?
    You excelled yourself this week, Keith

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  15. rochellewisoff Feb 14, 2019 / 12:29

    Knock Knock. Who’s there? S’only me saying, Unusual story, well told, Keith.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  16. Jelli Feb 14, 2019 / 14:30

    Not a knock-knock joke at all… pretty scary little story you have here!

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  17. gahlearner Feb 14, 2019 / 14:31

    This is creepy on so many levels. That Mike bloke must have watched them for some time. I echo what others said, excellent story telling.

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    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 14, 2019 / 21:26

      I’ve no idea where she is now. I’m waiting for my muse to give me a clue!

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  21. Laurie Bell Feb 14, 2019 / 19:55

    Oh no. That is great. So well told Keith. Clever use of the joke, no futher explanation needed.

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  22. michael1148humphris Feb 14, 2019 / 21:57

    Loved that you are trying out differing styles.

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  23. plaridel Feb 14, 2019 / 22:19

    definitely one of your best. well done.

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  25. granonine Feb 15, 2019 / 15:38

    Oh, Keith! Really, really well done. The introduction of Mike into the story was just terrifying!

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  29. Margaret Feb 16, 2019 / 05:36

    Oh what a great approach. As others have said, the juxtaposition of the joke with the horror of the narrative works really well. And there’s a lesson here not to be too predictable.

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  31. Alicia Jamtaas Feb 16, 2019 / 21:11

    Wowzers! This is one of your best. You did a great job of turning the knock knock joke on its ear.

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  36. deborahsdeliberations Feb 17, 2019 / 14:51

    What a terrifying tale, Keith. You took us from lighthearted fun to horror in a matter of minutes. Poor Lea and poor John. Great storytelling!

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