Friday Fictioneers

Keith's Ramblings

 

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Tom hadn’t been back for seventeen years. The coffee bar was still there. He ventured inside.

He noticed a girl, drinking a smoothie whilst staring at her mobile phone the way teenagers do. Something about her reminded him of Alison. They used to sit there. They even scratched their initials on the tabletop! He wondered if they were still there.

The girl stood to leave, looked across, smiled and was gone.

*

Last time he and Alison were there they’d argued and she’d stormed out. He never saw her again. Her final words flooded his mind…

“By the way, you are going to be a father”.

 

 

the-met-roger-bFor Friday Fictioneers which is hosted by Rochelle. This weeks picture is from Roger Bultot

96 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers”

  1. Denise Jun 6, 2018 / 11:28

    I kinda saw that ending coming. Any idea where the pic was taken?

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    • Keith's Ramblings Jun 6, 2018 / 11:50

      I don’t think he did! No idea about the location. I tried enlarging it to read the notice boards but to no avail. Busy place, it must be good!

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  3. Sandra Jun 6, 2018 / 12:00

    Now that’s an encounter to bring you up short! Well done.

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  4. rochellewisoff Jun 6, 2018 / 12:21

    Dear Keith,

    It doesn’t seem like Alison gave him a chance. Are you hinting that the girl might be his daughter? Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  8. Rowena Jun 6, 2018 / 14:26

    Very well put together, Keith. Clever. I hope they get to meet each other.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

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  9. pennygadd51 Jun 6, 2018 / 14:27

    I like your story. I’m not so sure that I’d wish them to meet up. There’ll be an awful lot of emotional baggage. The girl is happy – why encumber her with a father who’s never been there for her?

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  10. Dale Jun 6, 2018 / 14:42

    What a horrible thing for her to do.
    And, he, for not pursuing her to at least have a part in his future child’s life…

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    • Keith's Ramblings Jun 6, 2018 / 16:26

      Who knows what goes on in peoples minds? Had I been allowed 100 more words I think he’d have followed her. Cheers Dale

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  13. Anita Jun 6, 2018 / 16:48

    I hope they meet again
    Great that he got to meet his daughter. Small wonder she reminded him of Alison.

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    • Keith's Ramblings Jun 6, 2018 / 23:55

      I’d like to think they meet, and given another hundred words they might well have done. But we’ll never know!

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  16. Woman walking Max Jun 6, 2018 / 19:07

    A poignant and well crafted story – I think the ‘minimalism’ of the described events ractchets up the emotional power. Well done.

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  19. Joy Pixley Jun 7, 2018 / 00:26

    Hmm… In real life the resemblance to Amy is probably just a coincidence or wishful thinking. In fictional land, sounds like maybe Tom has just seen someone much more related to him than he realizes!

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  22. liz young Jun 7, 2018 / 12:32

    I hope he caught up with her and talked. Glad someone asked about the photo because I was wondering.

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  23. draliman Jun 7, 2018 / 13:10

    Ooh, will he chase after her, will he just leave well enough alone… nice one!

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  25. granonine Jun 7, 2018 / 15:31

    Father finally meets daughter, and neither of them knows it. Good one 🙂

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    • Keith's Ramblings Jun 8, 2018 / 09:18

      My golden rule is always to dismiss my first thoughts when I see the picture on the basis that lots of others will have thought the same! Thanks so much Alicia

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  34. jillyfunnell Jun 8, 2018 / 12:35

    Totally engaged with this story from the first word. Although he may not be aware of it I feel he is carrying an image embedded in his head, same as my protagonist this week.

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  36. AMelodyPearson Jun 8, 2018 / 18:58

    Very nice. it could be the beginning of an interesting tale. You should expand on it.

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  40. Sarah Ann Jun 10, 2018 / 10:28

    Was she, wasn’t she? Such a tantalising titbit.

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      • Sarah Ann Jun 11, 2018 / 11:34

        I felt she was too and wander what he’s going to do about it.

        Liked by 1 person

  42. Lynn Love Jun 11, 2018 / 14:05

    He needs to run after her! What if he never gets another chance to learn if she is his daughter? Nicely told tale of heartbreak and potential redemption

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  43. magarisa Jun 11, 2018 / 14:07

    What a trip down memory lane! Saw the story unfolding in my mind’s eye.

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  45. Inside the Mind of Isadora Jun 11, 2018 / 21:19

    I really, really like this tale, Keith. I can just imagine so many things.
    Pow ending to give us pause and our own thoughts on what might be.
    Bravo ….!!!
    Isadora 😎

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