Friday Fictioneers

 

whitexx

Tom hadn’t been back for seventeen years. The coffee bar was still there. He ventured inside.

He noticed a girl, drinking a smoothie whilst staring at her mobile phone the way teenagers do. Something about her reminded him of Alison. They used to sit there. They even scratched their initials on the tabletop! He wondered if they were still there.

The girl stood to leave, looked across, smiled and was gone.

*

Last time he and Alison were there they’d argued and she’d stormed out. He never saw her again. Her final words flooded his mind…

“By the way, you are going to be a father”.

 

 

the-met-roger-bFor Friday Fictioneers which is hosted by Rochelle. This weeks picture is from Roger Bultot

96 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers

  1. Denise June 6, 2018 / 11:28

    I kinda saw that ending coming. Any idea where the pic was taken?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings June 6, 2018 / 11:50

      I don’t think he did! No idea about the location. I tried enlarging it to read the notice boards but to no avail. Busy place, it must be good!

      Like

  2. Sandra June 6, 2018 / 12:00

    Now that’s an encounter to bring you up short! Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. rochellewisoff June 6, 2018 / 12:21

    Dear Keith,

    It doesn’t seem like Alison gave him a chance. Are you hinting that the girl might be his daughter? Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Rowena June 6, 2018 / 14:26

    Very well put together, Keith. Clever. I hope they get to meet each other.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

  5. pennygadd51 June 6, 2018 / 14:27

    I like your story. I’m not so sure that I’d wish them to meet up. There’ll be an awful lot of emotional baggage. The girl is happy – why encumber her with a father who’s never been there for her?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dale June 6, 2018 / 14:42

    What a horrible thing for her to do.
    And, he, for not pursuing her to at least have a part in his future child’s life…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Keith's Ramblings June 6, 2018 / 16:26

      Who knows what goes on in peoples minds? Had I been allowed 100 more words I think he’d have followed her. Cheers Dale

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Anita June 6, 2018 / 16:48

    I hope they meet again
    Great that he got to meet his daughter. Small wonder she reminded him of Alison.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Keith's Ramblings June 6, 2018 / 23:55

      I’d like to think they meet, and given another hundred words they might well have done. But we’ll never know!

      Like

  8. Woman walking Max June 6, 2018 / 19:07

    A poignant and well crafted story – I think the ‘minimalism’ of the described events ractchets up the emotional power. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Joy Pixley June 7, 2018 / 00:26

    Hmm… In real life the resemblance to Amy is probably just a coincidence or wishful thinking. In fictional land, sounds like maybe Tom has just seen someone much more related to him than he realizes!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. liz young June 7, 2018 / 12:32

    I hope he caught up with her and talked. Glad someone asked about the photo because I was wondering.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. draliman June 7, 2018 / 13:10

    Ooh, will he chase after her, will he just leave well enough alone… nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Alice Audrey June 7, 2018 / 14:24

    How could he forget such a parting shot? And he didn’t follow her out? The cad!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. granonine June 7, 2018 / 15:31

    Father finally meets daughter, and neither of them knows it. Good one 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings June 8, 2018 / 09:18

      My golden rule is always to dismiss my first thoughts when I see the picture on the basis that lots of others will have thought the same! Thanks so much Alicia

      Like

  14. jillyfunnell June 8, 2018 / 12:35

    Totally engaged with this story from the first word. Although he may not be aware of it I feel he is carrying an image embedded in his head, same as my protagonist this week.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. AMelodyPearson June 8, 2018 / 18:58

    Very nice. it could be the beginning of an interesting tale. You should expand on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Lynn Love June 11, 2018 / 14:05

    He needs to run after her! What if he never gets another chance to learn if she is his daughter? Nicely told tale of heartbreak and potential redemption

    Liked by 1 person

  17. magarisa June 11, 2018 / 14:07

    What a trip down memory lane! Saw the story unfolding in my mind’s eye.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Inside the Mind of Isadora June 11, 2018 / 21:19

    I really, really like this tale, Keith. I can just imagine so many things.
    Pow ending to give us pause and our own thoughts on what might be.
    Bravo ….!!!
    Isadora 😎

    Liked by 1 person

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